home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
MAG.E 5
/
MAG.E 5 (Disk 1 of 2).adf
/
Dwarf
/
9
< prev
Wrap
Text File
|
1977-12-31
|
3KB
|
56 lines
@3HOW WAS THE CAT`S PROMISED LAND SPELT?
======================================
@1(Another inconsistency!)
When Holly sealed off as much of the ship as possible from the cadmium
II, there was Frankenstein and her four offspring. They began to breed.
Each litter produced an average of four kittens, three times a year. At
the end of the first year, the second generation of kittens started to
breed too. They produced three annual litters of three to four kittens.
When Frankenstein died, at the age of fourteen, she left behind one
hundred and ninety-eight thousand, seven hundred and thirty-two cats.
198,732 cats, who continued to breed.
Only the smartest, the biggest and the bravest survived.
The mutants.
The mutants, who had rudimentary fingers instead of claws, who stood on
their hind legs, and clubbed rivals to death with crudely-made clubs.
Who found the best breeding mates.
And bred.
Felis erectus was born.
After two million years, there was a plague within the Cat race. The
plague was hunger. Less than 30 Cat tribes now survived, roaming around
the 40 mile cargo decks on their hind legs in search of food. But the
food had gone. the supplies were finished. Weak and ailing, they prayed
at the supply holds silver mountains: huge towering acres of metal rocks
which the mutant cats believed watched over them. One Cat stood up and
held aloft the sacred iron. It was a piece of V-shaped metal with a
revolving handle on its head. He took down a silver rock from the silver
mountain and placed the iron on the rim of the rock and turned the
handle. Inside the rock was Alphabetti spaghetti.
And Felis sapiens was born.
There was a war between the Cats. It was a holy war. Some Cats believed
the one true father of Catkind was a man called Cloister, who saved
Frankenstein, the Holy Mother, and was frozen in time by the evil men
who sought to kill her. One day Cloister would return to lead them to
Bearth, the planet where they could make their home. The other Cats
believed the same thing, except the Father of Catkind was a man called
Clister.
They fought for two thousand years and millions died until finally, a
truce was called. Commandeering the fleet of shuttles from the docking
bay, half the Cats flew off in search of Cloister and the Promised Land,
and the other half flew off in search off Clister and the Promised Land.
Behind them they left the lame, sick and the ones to weak to travel. One
by one they died. Soon only two remained: one a cripple, one an idiot.
And one day, to the cripple and the idiot, a son was born....CAT.
*************************************************************************
So, this excerpt from the book _Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes
Careful Drivers_ states that the Cat Promised Land is Bearth. I
rewatched the tv version and, IMH, it appears to sound like Fushal. You
can distinctly tell that Cat & Lister both put a "L" at the end.
Steve Lew